Will she give me another shot?

by Kris
(Canada)

OK, I'm a guy who's been broken up with. The situation is this: I've been with my girlfriend for 11 months, and things were going great, but over the past few months my girlfriend would get very bothered by something every few weeks, however, when i asked what was wrong, i would only ever get the same response.. "it seems like you don't care about me."

This was as much info as i got, and i did not know what to do... but, no matter what i did these same things kept popping up from time to time, and I'll admit, after a few of them, i got to the point where i just told her not to be so foolish and that i did care, and that i loved her.

I never really understood what she actually meant when she said this, and she isn't really good at expressing herself so that's what kept happening. Even up to last week the same thing happened, and i told her that i would try to do whatever i could to fix things.. still not fully understanding what exactly she meant.

Finally, last night after a week apart, because she was home sick most of the week, the same thing happens again.. only this time she was "sick of trying," and she "felt like she had to beg me to care" .. so, i started talking to her and suddenly after all this time she actually manages to say what she is feeling.. Then i realize what I've been doing, and I'm an idiot for doing.. I've totally been taking her for granted, not making her feel that i really wanted her around or cared when she was here or not.

So, at this point i finally KNOW what I've been doing, and i hate myself for doing this in the first place, but it just didn't dawn on me that i was doing it till now...

I explained to her that i did love her, and that i was very sorry about this.. i told her that because i actually know the issue i CAN and WILL fix it, but she just said that she does love me and she knows that i feel the same, but i made her feel like crap about herself and that she needed to be alone right now because she loves me, but doesn't know what she wants right now and needs to feel better about herself..

I never truly understood how much i loved this girl until she said that to me last night.. it broke my heart to hear her say that.. she still wants to talk and be a part of my life, but needs time alone.. And, i think that this is the hardest part

I KNOW i can make it better because i KNOW what the problem is now, I've been kicking myself since last night because it was all completely avoidable and was only due to my own stupidity..

I just really want her to give it a shot and try, but i don't want to crowd her, or make her feel that I'm pressuring her to "give up the foolishness", so to speak.. but at the same time i really don't want to seem like i don't care at all..

what do i do?




Answer:

Hey Kris,


Don't worry to much about "pressuring her". Girls like for a guy to fight for them. Rightly, it makes them feel desired. Just keep on insisting to her that you love her and know the mistakes you've made, and that you know how to change.

She will give you another shot.

She loves you, and, as negligent as you may have been, for however long you've been that way, you haven't committed any major sin. Just plead... She'll give you another chance.

The hard part though, will be actually making these changes that you know you need to make. I wish you luck.



Editor, CDI