Who should say "I love you" first?

by Brie
(Illinois)

I am 17, young, yes. But That doesn't mean I don't know what love is. My boyfriend is 2 years older than I am and I am his first real relationship. He has never really been a ladies man. And that is what attracts me to him. He is NOT your typical guy who wants to hit it and get it.

He genuinely is a decent guy. I never come across guys like him. I am in love with him, but I am scared to death of it because I have never said it to a guy before, I have been in 3 relationships and one lasted 11 months, the other 6 months I never could tell those guys I love them. It didn't seem right. I am glad I never said it.

Now, with this guy, I want to say it. But I don't know if I should say it first. Throughout our entire relationship I have done everything first, I made the first move on our first kiss, I was first to admit I liked him, and I was even first to admit we were dating.

Then the BIG "L" word comes a long and I lose my confidence. Should I just wait for him to say it first?



Answer

Judging your boyfriend's personality type from your descriptions of him, I think it's fair to assume that he isn't the type of guy that often puts himself out there in a position to be rejected. So, I wouldn't wait for him to make the first move on this.

There is one thing you need to consider though. Is he ready for the whole love thing? How long have you guys dated? Are you to the point where it is obvious that you both have very strong feelings for each other? If so, you should tell him that you love him.

If not, consider waiting a little bit. You don't want to freak him out by bringing out the "L word" too soon.

You're the only one who knows for sure if its the right time. Don't force it. If it feels right, tell him. But, don't wait for him just because you think it's his turn. He's probably freaked out that you haven't said it yet.


Good Luck,

Editor, CDI