What can I do to show her that I am sorry?

by Dan
(Michigan)

I am a thirty six year old man, who has been in a relationship with a woman for almost three years.

My girlfriend says we cannot continue with our relationship because I will not be honest with her. I have lied to her about my past with other girls, before her. She says it is not about the past, it is about the lying.

I have admitted to lying and apologized. She says that I have lied many times, she cannot trust me to tell the truth. It seems like we are always on and off again. She says that she loves me. I know what it is like to be lied to, I do not want her wandering or feeling this way.

I asked to talk to her, and she has not responded. She says there has been plenty of opportunities to talk and I choose not to. Do I ask to resolve the situation? Do I simply move on?






Answer:

I don't know Dan.

When you really love someone, you usually don't habitually lie to them. Why did you?

My guess is that you don't really love her all that much. If you did, you would be trying everything in your power to make it right. Your blase comment towards the end, "Do I ask to resolve the situation? Do I simply move on?" implies that you're not exactly head over heels for this girl.

She called you on your bullshit, and now she wants to move on.

I'd let her.

In your next relationship, whether or not you've found the one, try to be a better partner. You need to be cultivating good habits, so when you find someone you don't want to lose, you'll have a better chance of not screwing things up.

Good Luck,

Editor, CDI