My parents hate my boyfriend...

by Brooke
(Sparta)

Hi, I'm 19 years old and I'm dating a guy who is eleven years older than me. I've known him since I was 16, and he was engaged.

When his fiance broke up with him, and I turned 18 a few years later, we hung out a few times. We had hung out a few times before while he was still engaged but it was only as friends.

Well, when my parents found out we had been texting, they freaked out and told me never to talk to him again. My ex boss was friends with my parents, and every time he came to workout, he told my dad. I got caught a few more times texting him, but the last time I got caught was very bad.

My parents found out where his parents lived, and they drove over there and told them things that were not true. And, since he still lived with his parents since his fiance broke it off with him, they were very upset. My parents made them cry, and now I've been hiding our relationship for over 12 months now.

He finally got his own house so it's easy to sneak around, but one day everybody will have to know. I love him with my whole heart, but what should i do? His parents know nothing of me, and his mother is definitely a monster in law.

He is a mamas boy, and she had practically decorated his whole house (badly) i must say. So what should I do when the time finally comes when I have to meet them, and tell my parents? His parents already hate me, and my parents don't want anything to do with him or will accept the fact if we get married.

Everybody thinks I'm wrong for dating him. Should my family really make a big deal of me dating him? And how should I approach the situation when it comes? I hate having to hide myself like I am ashamed of me dating him, because I'm not.

-Thank you
Brooke




Answer:

Like every parent in the history of time, your parents are going to have to accept the decisions that you choose for yourself... You're over 18. You have to live your life.

When you tell your parents, don't tell them how long you two have been dating. They will resent how misleading you've been, and see that as proof that you shouldn't be with this guy.

Tell them that you've just recently started seeing him again, and that you really like him, and hope that they can accept your decision.

That's all you can do. If they don't give you their blessing, you may have to choose between your relationship with your boyfriend and your relationship with your parents. It's not fair, but that will be your choice.

Before you make any decisions, or move forward with any of this, I'd ask you to try to examine your relationship with this guy from an outside perspective. It worries me that "everyone thinks you're wrong for dating him."

Does this include your close friends? Siblings? If everyone is giving you the same advice, that can be a sign that maybe you're not making the best decision.

But hey, nobody wanted Romeo and Juliet to be together either. I guess I would just advice you to look at your options. You're young. You could potentially meet a lot of other guys. Just sayin'... there may be someone out there that will cause less trouble for you.

Obviously you have a better vantage point than me.

Good Luck...

Editor, CDI