My girlfriend wants a foursome

by anonymous

My girlfriend is really into experimenting which I'm fine with but there are some things I can't do and she wants to.

For instance she is into pain, both causing and receiving, and I'm not. She wants to whip me and stuff and I have a very low pain tolerance. Also she wants to have a foursome with me, our best friend, and a female friend of ours and I'm not really comfortable with it.

As long as she didn't do anything with the other guy I could probably deal with it but I'm afraid we'll do it and something will happen in the heat of the moment or something. This is the first girl I have had sex with and I love her and she loves me but she said she's afraid I'll hold her back sexually and that she is forcing me into things I don't want to do and she's not sure if our relationship can work like that.

I want to make her happy and be with her but I don't know what to do.






Answer:

Sexual compatibility is important.

Your girlfriend obviously has a few kinks. She has a few things she requires for a satisfying sex life. You can't change this.

If you try to make her give up these things for a more vanilla sex life, your relationship won't last five years. Would you be able to stay with someone who never wanted to have the kind of sex that you want to have?

Probably not.

So, you have two choices:

1. You negotiate some sort of deal where you both will be able to get what you need sexually.

If you can't tolerate her masochism, she'll need an outside partner for that. Every once in a while, you may have to go out of your comfort zone in regards to group sex, or trying something you don't want to do, but that you're willing to try.

In return, she must indulge your sexual needs. Whatever that may be. Whether it is kinky at all, or completely vanilla.

Thats the only way to sustain the relationship long term.

2. You break up.

This is the easier choice, and may even be the right one given your differences.

You break up, and both look for a partner with whom you're more compatible.

These are your two choices long term. But, for now, make sure you have a good, honest talk with one another about what you each need to be happy emotionally and sexually. Then, you'll have a better idea of whether or not to reach a compromise, or go your separate ways.

Good Luck