Looking for affection.

by Jenneffer
(Orlando, Florida, USA)

Me and my boyfriend, Chris, have been together for a few weeks now and he took the week off of his work to stay with me. It's supposed to be one of those romantic vacations where he sleeps with me every night and I make him food and take care of him. It was great the first night, we kissed and had sex for a while and he fell asleep. Afterward, however, I've found it hard to hold his attention at all. He spends his days watching TV or on my computer, and will only talk to me when I ask him a question.

I made plans for us to go out to dinner the other night, but he slept in very late and I decided that I would make us a fancy dinner at home instead. He sat on the computer while he ate and chatted to his friends, never even finished his plate. And every night he sleeps at the very edge of the bed away from me, turned away from me. I sat down with him and talked to him, I asked him why he ignores me. He says he doesn't ignore me. I asked if there was something wrong with me. He says I need to stop attacking myself. I asked why he never wanted to hold me or kiss me or have sex with me. He said he's trying to prove a point. I have no idea what this means...I don't know what to do.

We're both young adults, I'm 20 and he's 23, so I do have cravings to have sex all the time. All of this frustration and stress has been building up that I break down crying normally and he refuses to look at me. I even got so angry that I started hitting him with my pillow and calling him a jerk!

As much as I want to leave him and kick him out of my house, I really did love him before this issue came up. He'd been cheated on a lot before by girls, so I tried to prove that he could trust me. But, honestly, not having any vent for all of my sexual frustration, I'm ashamed to say that I've been thinking about cheating. I want affection so badly. Just for him to wrap his arms around me or to kiss me. Please help me out.

Answer

Jenneffer,

If your boyfriend was just skimping on the sex, that would be one thing. But, it sounds like he is neglecting you in almost every way a boyfriend could. That's no good.

He is right about one thing though. "You need to stop attacking yourself." It sounds like you are being a very considerate girlfriend. You need to start attacking him! If a boyfriend is acting like a jackass, you've got to really confront him. Tell him the ways he is under performing as a boyfriend, and let him know what needs to change for you to stick around. If there is no improvement in a reasonable amount of time, you've got to let this one go.

I know that's always a crappy thing to go through, but it is better than the alternative.