Is dating multiple people at once OK?

by Kristy
(California)

What is it called when someone meets 3-4 of the same men for dinner, texting them daily, talking daily on the phone, kissing once in a while, flirting- NO SEX. None have stated specifically that they want to be exclusive. Should you only be meeting with 1 other person at a time or is it OK to see more than one? Is there a term for this, is it actually dating? Pre-dating?

Also the person doing this is married, but has been separated for 9 months and lives in a different state about 25 hours apart. The only reason they are not yet divorced is due to money, if one of the persons in the marriage tells the other that it's over with no chance of reconciliation the other will not help to support the other financially and they need the money right now.

As soon as they can support themselves they will end it completely and they are not sleeping with each other.

I just want to know what it is called prior to actually dating and if there is an unwritten/unspoken expectation to only "flirt"/ get to know one person at a time. Or is it purely a personal preference?





Answer:

What you've described is either "flirting" or "dating". If you're going out to dinner with someone, you're dating. If you're just smiling and being friendly, you might be flirting.

I think what you're really asking, is, whether or not someone should date multiple people at once, or even flirt with more than one person at a time?

It's OK to do either of these things. After all, the whole point of flirting and dating is to test your comparability with someone.

When a couple moves from dating to a relationship, they do so to ensure exclusivity. The couple has determined that they are compatible and should try being exclusive partners.

But, you still gotta be honest. Just because you're not in an exclusive relationship doesn't mean you should tell someone that they're the only one you're seeing when that's not the case.

It's OK to see multiple people at once in the early stages of courting, but don't be misleading.