I'm 14. He is 18 with troubles...Should I date this guy? Help me I am very confused!!!
by Ayerim
I am a 14 year old girl and last year a friend from my soccer team told me that her guy friend liked the picture of me saying that I was hot. Well... of course I was flattered, I mean who wouldn't be? Well this friend of mine, I will call her Lily for now, started telling me these stories of this guy who I will name Jack. She said that Jack was very kind, but was a womanizer. Fast forward a few months. I have now found out that now Jack is 18 years old, which I know is a bit old for me. He also drinks at parties and has once in a while taken a drug. This is not good. The worst though is that, at a party when he was drunk, he got a girl pregnant in a one night stand. Now comes the problem. Lily has told me constantly that he liked me... too much. Jack tried to make it work with the pregnant girl, but the relationship was already doomed to fail. Lily told me that this girl hated me and when I asked why she said because Jack didn't pay her enough attention when I was texting Lily. So one night, Lily asked me if I liked Jack. Truthfully, I was interested, but I knew that I shouldn't have been. So I texted, "kinda but it wouldn't turn into anything... and anyways he has a kid". Little did I know that Jack was reading it from behind her. To my knowledge (since I wasn't there) he got really depressed and started to cry. Then Jack stole her phone and started to talk to me saying that he loved me and had always loved me. I knew obviously that he was lying. How could he have loved me if he hadn't really talked to me? But he took the phone home and we got to know each other pretty well. We have now been texting each other for over a month and he wants to become boyfriend and girlfriend. I have successfully avoided answering, but I have now come to find that I really like him. He has told me that he would not do anything to hurt me or try to take advantage of me in any way. A part of me can't help but believe him, but common sense is telling me not to. He has told me anything that has happened to him including what another girl has tried to do to him. Lily has verified his stories. Now he wants to just try and take me on a date, but I don't know what to say. I want to go, but I am afraid that I would just get used by him if this relationship would ever to turn serious (I have told him that I wouldn't do it with him until a few years have past). I really like Jack... I never want to hurt him or my friend indirectly.. but I can't be sure if he's telling the truth. Please help me... ANSWER: Hi Ayerim, I know with 100% certainty that you should not date this boy. At least not right now. I'm a guy, and i know, from being a guy, that an 18 year old boy, with the history you've described, who is interested in a 14 year old girl, is bad news. I know it seems like he really likes you, and that you could trust him... but you are just not quite old enough to date someone with that much testosterone and bad judgment (he has had a kid?? does drugs?) If he really likes you, he'll wait until you're a little older. If he still seems like a good guy to date a year or two from now, then, perhaps, you could consider it. Though, i think you will have found a better boyfriend by then. Bottom line, don't get involved with this guy. As you get older, you'll start to understand better what you want out of a relationship. So, wait a little while. |