How to move on after break up, when still in love

by cassie
(Aus)

How can you move on after being so and completely in love for the very first time? How can you move on and start again?

I cannot see myself falling out of love with my very first sexual boyfriend, he was not only my boyfriend but my best friend and all I do is cry.

I just need some advice from a male or a female on the steps I need to take. He says that it was not me that did anything and that he has issues, but how can I move on and not make the same mistakes twice if he cannot tell me what I did to make him not want to be with me anymore?

I need some advice on what I should or need to do please...





Answer:

Hi Cassie,

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this right now. It's the worse. I know. A lot of people know.

Unfortunately, you're going to feel pretty bad for a little while. There is no getting around that. Try to spend time with friends and family. Watch movies. You're still going be sad, but it will help you get your mind off things.

There is one cure though. And it always works. Time. In about a week you'll feel a little better. In a month, you'll be having all kinds of fun again. You still might get sad every once in a while, but life will be life again. And in three months... Smooth sailing my dear.

I know its hard to imagine now. But, it does get better. And you'll be surprised the day when you wake up, and you realize you've moved on.

Break ups always hurt. Even when you're the one doing it. But, here is the best way to avoid total devastation in the future.

Get a best friend who is not your boyfriend. Romantic relationships are important, but when your boyfriend is 99% of your life, if a break up happens, it destroys your life (temporarily remember).

You need friends to be there for you when you're down, and to maintain some routine during times like this. Also, the more you have going on outside of the relationship, the healthier the relationship will be. When two people are completely dependent on one another, you put a lot of stress on one another.

Does that make sense?

Again, I really feel for you. I remember when I was in your shoes, and it sucks. I couldn't listen to this one beach boys album for, like, three years.

But, it does get better, and you can take some comfort in knowing that you've learned one of life's great, awful lessons.

Good Luck,

Editor, CDI