How to get the passion back?

by Brianne Marie
(Cordova )

My boyfriend and I have only been official for about three weeks but we have been talking for four months. Everything was really great until about three weeks ago when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I feel like everything has been going down hill. I want the passion back. Where did it go? And how do I get it back before its too late?




Answer:

Hi Brianne,

Thanks for the question. Can you identify what, exactly, brought about the change. You say it coincided with making it "official". Do you think becoming boyfriend - girlfriend is what stole the passion?

Relationships get less exciting as they progress. The "chase" is the most exciting part. That's why most romantic movies center around the courting as opposed to plopping in a year into the relationship.

But, just because it's the most exciting time in a relationship, doesn't mean it's the most rewarding. Building a deep, stable relationship with someone you care about is one of the most rewarding aspects of life. But, in order to do that, you can't be feeling passionless. Especially at this point in the relationship.

So, how do you keep the passion alive? Well, try not to settle into a stagnant routine with one another. Go on dates to places you've never been. Plan a day trip out of town. Try to surprise each other.

Most important, make sure to communicate with your boyfriend. If he has stopped doing a certain thing that you liked, you need to tell him. If he has stopped being romantic, tell him you still need him to make an effort, etc...

You've moved past the heart pounding stage of falling for one another. Now, you're moving into the nitty gritty aspects of a relationship. If you can't maintain a happy relationship from this point on, you just might not be right for each other. But, by communicating and not settling into a boring routine, you can keep the romance alive, and build a healthy relationship.



Editor, CDI