How do I tell him that I like him without scaring him off?

by Annie
(Massachusetts)

OK, so here's the lowdown. There is a guy in my class who is (i'll just say it) the absolute most adorable dork in the world. He is really funny and we always joke behind the teachers back. We IM regularly as well, and one of his friends told me that was shocking because he never goes online. Also, a girl in the class is absolutely convinced that he's in love with me. Although that may not be true, I am fairly certain he does like me. The problem is, he seems to have a low self esteem and not much confidence around girls especially. I want to let him know that I like him without it freaking him out or scaring him off.



Answer:

The trick here is to not create any expectations. If someone is shy, they are usually just nervous about fulfilling some preconceived notion of how they should act. So, avoid building stuff up too much. As long as you are nice nice to him and smile a lot, I guarantee you that you won't "scare him off".

For example, you don't have to necessarily "tell him" that you like him. That would be putting him on the spot to some degree, which could freak him out.

Just keep spending more and more time with him. Find ways to spend time with him outside of school. Do you both enjoy a similar hobby? Or is he good at something that could be fun to do together? If you find an activity that he is really comfortable doing already, there will be a better chance of him being himself, instead of getting too freaked out. (I'm thinking flying model airplanes for some reason).

You'll get to know each other better, and he'll quickly figure out (if he doesn't already know), that you think he is "the absolute most adorable dork in the world."

Good Luck,
Feel free to ask more questions if you have them. Come back in a couple weeks and let us know how things are progressing!

Michael B. Editor, CDI