he wants us to be close friends?

by sahzma
(Tanzania)

My question is, why is it that some guys say that they find it hard to trust women because they have been hurt in the past and they wouldn't want to hurt their current girlfriend, so they say it's best that they break up and be frends?

But, who in the world has not been hurt before? Does this mean they are just finding an excuse to break up simply because you might not be the one or maybe its true of what they say and yet they still say though we are friends i am attracted to you but the thing that we have between us has to stop????

Then he says i don't want a relationship or intimacy but everything can remain the same, that he cherishes me...help????




Answer:


Hi Sahzma,

You're right that his reason for breaking up seems a little disingenuous.

Being hurt in the past could cause trust issues later on, but, his trust of you doesn't seem to be the issue.

He doesn't want things to remain the same. If he did, he wouldn't break up with you.

He wants to see other people, but keep you as a friend. You have to decide if that is a possibility.

If you can remain friends with him, then great. But, regardless of whether or not that will work, if you're looking for a romantic relationship, you should be looking in other directions.

There are plenty of fish in the sea. If this particular fish is the one for you, he'll eventually find his way back to you. For now though, I'd start searching out other fish.

Good luck!

Editor, CDI