Having another male friend when in a committed relationship

by Stephanie
(Pennsylvania)

I am 20 years old and have been in a committed relationship with a man for about two years. I am still in college and would like to go out with another male college friend just as a friend. My current boyfriend does not like this and feels that even though I may see this other guy just as a friend the other guy may view me differently and be interested in pursuing a more serious relationship with me. My mother has said that she understands my boyfriends feelings and that going out with another male on a date is not appropriate even if I feel he is just a friend. Any advice?
Stephanie





Answer:

Hi Stephanie...

You should be able to have friends that are guys. It's not fair of your boyfriend (or your mother) to keep you from having friends outside of your romantic relationship, whether they be male or female.

Your boyfriend is just going to have to trust you. If you were going to have an affair, you certainly wouldn't be telling him about it. Your intentions are there for him to see.

But, you do need to make sure that this guy knows you just want to be friends. If you sense that he expects something could happen romantically, you might want to rethink whether or not a friendship is possible. It wouldn't be fair to him or your boyfriend to try to be friends with someone who wants more.

Good Luck,



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