Falling out of love?

by Liz

Ok, so my boyfriend and I have been going out for 9 months now and it's not going so great. The first 6 months were fine because we were very close and he was always complimenting me and had just told me he loved me for the first time so we were very much in love.

Lately, we haven't been talking as much and we have time for each other but we just aren't using it for that. I really wish that we could have our earlier months back. We are just losing contact and it's been forever since we've had any physical contact like holding hands. We've addressed it but yet no action done yet. I would really like to know what to do! We still love each other but should I break up with him or wear the pants and fix it????

Answer

If you feel like you can "wear the pants" and fix the problem Liz, you should. It sounds like you are both equally culpable here. My guess is that "fixing" the problem won't be so simple, though.

You need to figure out why you aren't making time for each other, and why you aren't drawn to each other the way you were in those first months. What has changed?

If you're not making time for each other, the two of you may just not be perfect for one other, despite the strong connection you once had. Try to make it work Liz, but don't beat yourself up if you don't feel as strongly as you once did. People fall in and out of love, and that is natural.

When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you'll know it, and you won't ever need to worry about making time for one another because it'll just happen on it's own. Good luck, and don't fret. If it doesn't work out between you and your boyfriend, that doesn't mean either of you did anything wrong.

-Tom