Falling Out of Love: Do I Destory Her Happiness For Mine?

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Falling Out of Love: Do I Destory Her Happiness For Mine?

by Max
(Australia)

From Max, Age: 19 Sex: Male

A girlfriend is not something you can dispose of if you start to lose interest in or find yourself looking at other girls. These words sound horrible, but I am sure I'm not the first to say them.

When I first met my girl I felt attached, happy and excited when I was with her.

This being my first serious relationship I sometimes asked myself why I chose her. One strange aspect of my behavior is being really into her when she's around, but when I'm alone or working I see other girls and cant help, but wonder if the grass is greener on the other side.

You’re probably thinking, "If he doesn't like this girl as much as he use to then why is he still with her?" That’s the very question that runs through my head when she's not around. Part of me feels connected to her family, especially her. I have been by her side, supporting her through tough times and I would feel hurt to see her go through any pain caused by a break up.

Does love really last forever?

What do you think I should do?

Answer:

Max, you're obviously a good guy. So, don't beat yourself up too much for how you're feeling.

Growing up it always seems like the only reason people break up is because one of the participants is doing something bad (cheating, abusive, etc.) or that the two people just can't stand each other any more.

In my experience, though, what you're going through is more common a situation than people think. Nothing is really "wrong", in fact everything is probably pretty good. But, sometimes good just isn't enough.

"Do I destroy her happiness for mine?" Well, simply put, yes. But, that is sort of a false choice. Your happiness is in fact crucial for her happiness. If you stay together, and you aren't as happy as you used to be, she will notice and she will become less happy. She will start to resent you. You will start to resent her, and this will spiral downwards until you eventually have one of those angry break ups that you see in movies.

It's best to end things on a good note. You're both still young. You want to experience other things and people, and the same would probably be good for your lady. You can always get back together down the road if it seems right...

You're a good guy. Just be kind and honest with her, and she will forgive you.

Good Luck.
If you need any clarification, or have more questions later on. You know where to find us.

Michael B. Editor, CDI

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Falling Out of Love: Do I Destory Her Happiness For Mine?

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Dec 16, 2009

Thanks for the quick reply
by: Max

I have been trying to work out things, but can't seem to find the right solution. When we are alone I feel happy, but when I'm out with her she really irritates me. I remember reading advice about not breaking up in the holidays and I am trying to wait until after Christmas, but I feel guilty every time I say "I love you" back to her knowing deep down, I no longer really do.

This will be my first breakup and I don't even know how to start. Do I drive to her house, talk to her on the phone or meet her somewhere?

How do I avoid her, when my friends are her friends?

How do I start the conversation? I almost wish there was a fight, to get this over with.

Reply from CDI: How to Break up with someone.

It's OK to feel crappy. That's sort of how break ups feel, even when you're the one that wants out.

You should do it in person... Her house is probably a good option. You'll have your privacy, which is important. And, she won't have to travel anywhere afterwords.

You don't want a break up to come completely out of the blue. But, you also shouldn't string her along. So, drop a hint or two... If you act like you're 100% satisfied with the relationship, she'll be shocked when you drop the bomb. So, don't hide how you're feeling, and she may even bring it up, and you can go from there.

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Dec 16, 2009
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Submitted by: Max

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Comment
I have been trying to work out things, but can't seem to find the right solution. When we are alone I feel happy, but when I'm out with her she really irritates me. I remember reading advice about not breaking up in the holidays and I am trying to wait until after Christmas, but I feel guilty every time I say "I love you" back to her knowing deep down, I no longer really do. This will be my first breakup and I don't even know how to start. Do I drive to her house, talk to her on the phone or meet her somewhere? How do I avoid her, when my friends are her friends? How do I start the conversation? I almost wish there was a fight, to get this over with. <br> <br> <b>Reply from CDI: How to Break up with someone.</b> It's OK to feel crappy. That's sort of how break ups feel, even when you're the one that wants out. You should do it in person... Her house is probably a good option. You'll have your privacy, which is important. And, she won't have to travel anywhere afterwords. You don't want a break up to come completely out of the blue. But, you also shouldn't string her along. So, drop a hint or two... If you act like you're 100% satisfied with the relationship, she'll be shocked when you drop the bomb. So, don't hide how you're feeling, and she may even bring it up, and you can go from there.

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Falling Out of Love: Do I Destory Her Happiness For Mine?

Comments for Falling Out of Love: Do I Destory Her Happiness For Mine?

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Falling Out of Love: Do I Destory Her Happiness For Mine?