Emotionally unavailable men

by jojo
(Ny, NY)

I always seem to fall for or attract emotionally unavailable men? How do i figure out why and what steps can I take to change this? I keep getting involved with men who only want sex and not a real romantic relationship, at 30yrs old I'm so passed that. Any advice would help. Thanks




ANSWER:

Hi jojo...

Getting men to become interested and committed to a long term relationship is one of the biggest challenges facing women today.

There are a few things you can do right off the bat that can increase your chances of finding a guy interested in the long haul:

1. Stay away from bars. Drunk guys are usually horny guys, so it can be difficult to suss out the guy's motives when you're both downing martinis.

2. Date older guys. Men usually get the nesting instinct later in life than women. So, a 35 year old guy will be more likely to settle down than a 25 year old.

3. Consider online dating. You can make your desires clear, and only date guys who are also looking for a long term relationship.

The only problem is that it's difficult to know if that guy is telling the truth or just feigning interest just to get laid.

You need to get yourself inside the mind of a male. Their minds don't work in the same way ours do. Once you understand every little thing going through a guy's mind, you can start to make better decisions regarding which men to date, and how to get a a great guy to settle down with you (it is probably in his best interest anyway).

One of the best resources I've ever encountered is Understanding Men. I was able to get a free copy to review (because Bob wanted me to promote it on this site)... But, when I read it, it actually was an insightful look into what men want, and how they can be persuaded to do what you want.

So, check it out if you can. You might be able to find it for free somewhere online.

Good Luck Jojo! Keep fighting the good fight. You will find the perfect guy sooner or later. It just takes time.

-Brenda