Does he want a relationship or a fling?

by yukta
(united states)

Hi
I have been seeing this guy for a couple of months and i feel like we have some kind of connection. But, i often get confused about the kind of relationship that we are having at the moment.

The guy works like 24/7 and the only place we meet up is in the university. We also party sometimes in the weekend, but its very rare. Last time we went to a party and we kissed and i felt like we had something. But, i am confused about these mixed feeling. I am not sure if he likes me or not as my mood swings a lot due to stress.

He usually calls me up asking about the university thing. But, is it the only reason why he is trying to call me? Usually when we go for parties we end up kissing each other. And, the other day he was trying to convince me into touching his genitals but i couldn't as i am a shy kind of a person. He asked me to have sex, but i rejected as i am not comfortable having sex without the "love thingy". So, can you please suggest me something to get out of this mess as i don't wanna be just a fling for him.

Thank You


Answer:

Hi Yukta,

That's a good question.

It might just be that this guy isn't really interested in a serious relationship. Like you said, he spends a lot of time working. He is definitely attracted to you, but that might not mean he's looking to fall in love.

So, what's the best course of action? Next time he calls you up, or you're studying together at school, ask him if he wants to hang out some time. Suggest an activity that does not seem like it would end with sex, as to not confuse his motives. So, suggest something like going to a museum, or hanging out at a park, as opposed to going out for drinks or to a party...

If he is interested in a possible relationship, he'll eventually make time for an activity like that with you, and you can move forward from there. If he's not interested, he'll avoid that sort of date. It's that simple.

Don't give up if he says he can't do the first thing that you suggest. He is a busy guy. But, if you make it obvious you'd like to go on a real date, and he doesn't help make it happen in a couple weeks, he's probably just looking for a physical fling.

Good Luck...

-Editor, CDI