Does he like me...Do I like him?

by Annie
(Seattle)

This year has been a really tough one. I not so much fell in love, but tripped over it...except he had no interest whatsoever.

We don't really talk anymore and he has a girlfriend; it has seriously taken a toll on my self esteem. And now I'm left confused and unresolved. He is not the problem. What I am befuddled with now is another guy.

I don't know whether or not I like him, but I really don't want to commit to liking him: I don't want to have my heart broken again. We laugh together, and have good times. Is it just because he thinks of me as a friend? How can I be sure? Our mutual friends aren't good resources, because they are still trying to help me get past things.

I believe they are just placating me when they say that he seemed "flirty", because I don't see much of a difference from how he acts always.

Info:
He has asked me (in a group) to come to a group hang out for coffee, and two of his gigs. Whenever we hang out and are supposed to be doing work, it's really hard to do because we are distracted, and end up just talking and joking around. Just a fun fact: he also has a ponytail.

I am just altogether confused and unsure.
Thanks,
Annie



Answer:

A pony tail? I can see why you're not sure if you like this guy...

Juuuuuuuust Kidding.

Annie, there is really only one way to find out if you like one another, and it seems like you're already doing it: Hanging out.

The more you hang out together, the more you'll realize that either this guy is the man of your dreams, or a just another guy with a pony tail. There is no other way to know if you like someone.

Now, as for if he likes you, I would recommend you take a look at our article on the Signs of Male Attraction. That's a good primer.

But, if you want to expedite the process, just ask him if he wants to hang out some time just the two of you. Don't be shy. Just ask him. If he seems pumped, then he probably likes you. If he just twirls his pony tail and changes the subject, then he might not.

But, why rush it? Just keep on hanging out together. If you realize that you like him, let him know it with some subtle flirting. Touch his arm. Extended eye contact.

If he likes you too, he'll reciprocate.


Good Luck Annie!

Editor, CDI